What is scissoring?
What exactly is scissoring? Is it synonymous with dry humping, a specific sexual position, or a symbolic rite of passage? Is it the definitive expression of lesbian intimacy, or is it a fictitious concept perpetuated by heteropatriarchal norms? Furthermore, how prevalent is scissoring beyond the realm of pornography?
Some prominent figures in the LGBTQ+ community, such as comedian and Orange Is the New Black star Lea DeLaria, vehemently argue that scissoring is “non-existent.” This perspective may stem from the reluctance of queer women to align themselves with the conventional portrayal of “lesbian sex” within the porn industry, which often features thin, white, cisgender women with perfectly manicured nails engaging in unrealistic and performative sexual acts. This portrayal has regrettably misled the heterosexual world into thinking that this is the sole manner in which lesbians engage in sexual activities, reducing their experiences to little more than nude lap dances.
Scissoring has also faced criticism for ergonomic reasons, as certain scissoring positions can be more akin to contorted yoga poses than a fulfilling sexual experience. Furthermore, non-penetrative forms of sex, as we will delve into later in this article, are frequently marginalized, dismissed, or even denied altogether as valid expressions of sexual intimacy.
The main concept of scissoring, along with the broader understanding of lesbian intimacy, is loaded with complexity. In fact, the queer website Autostraddle went to great lengths, conducting a comprehensive survey to dissect the intricate nuances of their readers’ sentiments and approaches toward this sexual activity. The outcome of their research revealed that scissoring is not only a real phenomenon but is also a common practice for almost 40 percent of the respondents.
Where did scissoring come from?
Scissoring or Tribadism finds its origins in ancient Roman literature, describing a strong, dominant woman who seduces and engages in sexual activity with other women. These assertive women in the ancient world were referred to as ‘Tribas,’ giving rise to the term ‘tribadism.’ This concept both fascinated and unsettled men in both ancient and more recent history, as they feared that a woman who could sexually please another woman might outperform them and potentially win the affections of their partners. Ah, the fragile egos of cisgender, heterosexual men!
Tribadism has been a topic of discussion since ancient Greek and Roman times and is also mentioned in texts by Islamic scholars from the same era. In the animal kingdom, Bonobo primates are adept practitioners of tribbing and have been observed to prefer this activity over other sexual acts with individuals of any gender in their communities. In Bonobo society, it is known as ‘GG-rubbing’ and serves as a means of communication and tension relief during disputes, making Bonobos the most peaceable and conflict-resistant of all primate species. Hooray for scissoring as a means of conflict resolution!
How do you scissor?
One of the most common interpretations of tribadism or tribbing is essentially akin to dry-humping but without clothing. So, if you’ve ever attempted TikTok’s renowned knee move (where you employ your knee to provide pressure on your partner’s clitoris while engaged in a fully-clothed make-out session), you just need to take that concept, remove the clothing, and intensify the experience.
However, when we refer to “scissoring,” it evokes a more specific imagery, doesn’t it? Absolutely. To be precise, it conjures a mental image of two individuals, each with their legs spread apart, mirroring the appearance of a pair of scissors, as they rub their vulvas together.
Unless you possess a high level of gymnastic flexibility, you may discover that achieving this position requires some adjustment and maneuvering. Therefore, it’s important to remain attuned to your body’s signals. As O’Mara points out, “The objective is to find the most comfortable arrangement for your vulva to make contact with your partner’s vulva.” Achieving comfort can be a bit challenging, particularly for those with flexibility limitations, as scissoring may lead to discomfort rather than pleasure.
Since scissoring can be a physically demanding activity, it’s advisable to engage in some stretching exercises beforehand to reduce the risk of any potential sexual injuries, with a particular focus on the legs, groin, and inner thighs.
Similar to oral or manual sexual stimulation, scissoring is just another facet of sexual exploration. You have the flexibility to adjust the tempo, incorporate lubrication, and introduce the sex toys of your choice, depending on your desires and the kind of stimulation that resonates with you and your partner.
While the pursuit of orgasm shouldn’t be the sole objective of any sexual encounter, achieving orgasm through scissoring is attainable with practice, open communication, and patience.
Although the act of scissoring itself isn’t overly intricate, initiating the discussion with your partner and maneuvering into position may present more challenges.
To embark on this journey comfortably, find a suitable space that allows room for movement. A bed often proves to be the most convenient choice, but make sure there are no objects nearby that you could accidentally knock over.
Learning how to scissor can be an enjoyable trial-and-error process, but it’s essential to exercise caution to avoid any unintended mishaps, such as knocking over a lamp.
When exploring scissoring with your partner, keep these key points in mind:
- Embrace the idea of experimenting with something new; novelty can be highly arousing for both parties. Your partner might also be curious about trying scissoring or have prior positive experiences with it.
- Don’t fret about appearing awkward or comical. Sex is meant to be enjoyable, and even if it takes a bit of time initially to find the most comfortable and pleasurable positions, the journey of exploring and connecting with each other through scissoring can be a rewarding and delightful experience.
Things to be noted
While you might feel eager to enthusiastically share all you’ve learned and hop into bed with your partner, it’s crucial to contemplate these aspects before embarking on scissoring.
As per Dr. Laura:
Always keep in mind that sex should never be uncomfortably painful, as pain serves as our body’s signal that something may be amiss. Pay heed to these signals! Seek out healthcare providers who are understanding, open, and affirming so that you can identify the root causes and collaborate on finding solutions to enhance your experience.